Communications Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1750 words

Communications - Essay Example It serves as a communication therapy discussing three major themes in communication issues: indicators, findings, and therapy (Reich 153). As with everyone who experienced family talk, it is easy to see how it can go in circles. Family members argue about little trivial matters that sometimes merely started as normal conversations. We hear every single type of complaint like â€Å"she doesn’t like to apologize,† or â€Å"I didn’t do anything wrong so I shouldn’t say sorry,† or â€Å"mom always criticizes everything I do,† or â€Å"he doesn’t appreciate what I do.† (Tannen 5-6) Every single individual experienced times when they tried to say something good yet ended up being misunderstood. This is a commonplace happening, but usually harder when family members or people who are close to each other are involved (Noller and Fitzpatrick 17). It is like giving a person a gift of a nice scented-lotion and, instead of a â€Å"thank yo u,† receive a response that they were offended because it means they smell bad or need more grooming. The real meaning of the message wrapped in the niceness of the gift is taken as a negative hint for the correction of their errors. Even if that was never the message the sender wants to give, the distorted interpretation creates a negative impact upon the relationship of the sender and receiver (Tannen 11-3). No further proof is needed for this pathology of communication problems shown in this scenario and other scenarios similar to this. There is evidence in almost every daily interaction people have with others, and usually, although unfortunately, the closer people are with each other, the greater chances there are for miscommunication (Tannen 21). The author’s intention is to explain the process of conversation, to which interpretation plays a great role. People should not read a single message in one specific context. Most communication process, particularly betwe en those who are closely related to each other, involves a lot more than mere words (Noller and Fitzpatrick 19). In interpreting the sender’s meaning, one should be familiar with all the other aspects of communication. This is the only solution for the issue of misinterpretation. The underlying message --- the meta-message --- has greater effect in communication, whether negative or positive (Tannen 7-8). In the third chapter of the book (67-93), Tannen explores meta-messages in several spoken lines people use, and the differences of these meta-messages in conversations between people in close relationships. Tannen states that the meta-messages in intimate relationships is different because of control continuum and connection continuum (Tannen 11). In the overall message of the third chapter, the solution for miscommunication is simply acknowledging that everything heard and said are potentially vague. The appropriate process in deciphering the message, therefore, is to disam biguate by looking at the core of the message. However, the issues in this process are that a speaker at times intentionally creates the meta-message, or unintentionally create the meta-message, or the receiver imagines a meta-message. This makes the interpretation of meaning a not so simple task, and unless one is able to read minds, the possibility of misunderstanding is big. Therefore, paying attention is important (Reich 153). Even to one who has not studied the art of communication, ideas regarding the surface meaning